SCENEprofiles Interview with John B., Managing Editor of Prometheus Magazine John may be contacted through Prometheus: Prometheus@tes.org http://www.tes.org/publications/prometheus.html

Sadie: As Managing Editor of Prometheus magazine, you write TES (The Eulenspeigel Society of New York City) meeting reports, video reviews, editorials, and first person pieces for the magazine as well as handle logistics and administrative trivia. What keeps you motivated to do this entirely volunteer job?

John: "I guess you could ask this of anyone who does volunteer work. For me, its one way to be involved with a great community of people; and I can do it mostly from home, on my own schedule. We live out in the New Jersey suburbs, and most face-to-face encounters with the community involves trips to New York; you can only do so much of this! But I have many opportunities to meet people via email in connection with Prometheus, and some of them become 'real life' friends as well.

"I'd like to note that, although I have an important role in producing Prometheus, it's really a group effort by a number of hardworking , loosely-connected volunteers; others have roles equally important to my own.

"There’s a certain amount of satisfaction about providing a service that a lot of Scene people find useful. It’s not in my character to go around waving the latest copy and saying 'look what we did' or worse, 'what I did.' There is also a danger in such work; it tends to entrap you. At first you’re just one of a larger team; then others drop out, and soon you’re more essential than you ever wanted to be. And you wonder how you can ever take a breather!"

Sadie: Being an editor definitely has its hard parts. What is hardest for you? (no jokes now!)

John: "Other than the inevitable 'on deadline' crunches requiring nonstop work, the most difficult part is explaining to eager authors why we unfortunately will be unable to fit in their work. We get a lot more than we can print; and some of it is good enough, but not as outstanding as some other material we might have on hand. Sometimes we try to explain to authors how they can do a better job next time, and instead they persist in sending versions again and again. This can be quite tedious, and often is unsuccessful in the end."

Sadie: Thanks to the proliferation of the Internet, Prometheus is one of very few paper-based publications that are surviving today. What are your feelings about the value of having a traditional magazine available about BDSM?

John: "I do a 'vanilla' club newsletter too, which takes only a fraction of the time I spend on Prometheus; and in both cases, sometimes I wonder if anyone really reads the thing! But I know Prometheus readers do appreciate it, whether or not they plow through every word. I do know that the authors very much appreciate an opportunity to appear in a real, print medium. Prometheus, of course, is published by TES; TES is one of the largest of the member-run organizations supporting the community, and the existence of Prometheus is a differentiator that I hope will encourage people to join TES and take an interest in helping to run the group. Prometheus, of course, 'survives' as you put it because it is an all-volunteer operation. I can’t imagine trying to do this for a living!

Sadie: You identify as a switch, but were mostly submissive when you started out because you "were too petrified to do anything else." Seems like plenty of people think being a Dominant is easier because it's more in control. What were you afraid of?

John: "Well I’m not sure afraid is the word, but you have to be at least a little fearful as a top about hurting your bottom! I think initial shyness is a factor too; it seemed easier to make connections as a submissive, or at least as a willing bottom. Note that I make the distinction: people have seen me do all sorts of heavy bottom play, and assume I’m a submissive; while I can be quite submissive in a scene, or in a relationship to a particular person, I don’t feel I have a submissive nature. It’s more of a role-play, for a limited period. But I can get into this role-play very easily, with the right dominant! There’s another factor too, getting more important day by day I’m afraid: Male dominants have to at least consider the possibility of police action against them. Female dominants have less to worry about, I think, and bottoms or submissives almost nothing to fear in this regard."

Sadie: How did your experience as a submissive inform your abilities as a Dominant today?

John: "Well, I still identify myself as a switch; actually, I always have. Remember, the classic path in the Old Guard days was that everybody starts as a sub and earns their stripes; only then could they start to top. I think it’s still a good path to follow. One obvious thing is you have a better insight into how the submissive feels. Most books advise tops that they should taste the sensations they dish out; but how many actually do it?

"Even today, I’m still more likely to sub rather than top. It’s more a case of what potential partners I encounter, actually. And I’ve survived quite a few scenes that were, umm, a bit more rough, violent, painful than I would have liked. So as a top, I tend to be more psychologically dominant rather than physical, or hope to be anyway. On the physical side, I’d rather be more sensuous. But if someone really wants harder play, I’m not going to shy away!"

Sadie: The grapevine tells me that you are quite the teller of tales when it comes to having Dommes lined up for the weekend. With submissive men being pretty much a dime a dozen, how do you explain your ability to reel them in?

John: "Of course, I deny any such thing. I give my full attention to my partner at all times. (NEXT!) But you see, I have a trusting and understanding wife, LJ, who’s not in the Scene beyond socializing; so I cannot get into 24/7 or sexual relationships. But I do love to play!

"So what’s a body to do? I don’t get nearly as much play as I’d like, but I get a lot more than some sub men seem to. Part of it is being a switch; that opens up your opportunities considerably, and some of the most fun is playing with fellow switches: there’s a new element of tension in that case, not only 'what is going to happen' but also 'who’s going to do it this time?' But for those who can’t switch, there are a number of factors that make the eternal search a bit easier. First, be open to public play. Be flexible; my own negotiating position as a bottom is anything goes that’s not overtly sexual, or causes permanent changes to my poor old body, and it’s not a ploy. I can enjoy most anything. Make no mistake, 'I’d love to but not right now,' means one thing: 'No!' Personally I got into the Scene by jumping feet first into public demos; even the most fabled professionals sometimes need submissives to demonstrate in public, for the simple reason that most of their high-paying clients won’t be seen in public at all. People accuse me of being an exhibitionist, but I demur: I’m just uninhibited, is all. Public demos are a great way to get some play, often with a real expert; and others notice you as well. Think about it. How can they avoid noticing you! But so many people say, 'I could never do THAT.' You can. Trust me."

Sadie: Considering your ability to buck the odds on this, what advice would you give to others seeking play partners?

John: "See above; but above all, be out there, be sociable, act like a gentleman or lady. Be clean, if you hope to get, umm, undressed! And if you don’t get what you want all the time, don’t moan about it. Nobody wants to be with a loser, in the Scene or in life generally. Just keep smiling, and wait for your opportunity. Those who expect instant success are not realistic; many of my partners have played only after months of flirting. Some possible partners never get to the play stage. But they can be friends, nevertheless. And some play partners evolve into being nonplaying friends, too."

Sadie: Sailing is one of your hobbies, and especially so with your friend Mistress Nona, who you write about in your article, "The Queen of Canes, Slave John, and the Butterfly Board" which ran in Prometheus #36. It which describes how your scrotum was attached to an electrified butterfly board. Is this a true story?

John: "Well, here we go again, be flexible is my motto. Actually, I had seldom been sailing, but Mistress Nona asked, so I said, why not? The hardest part is owning the boat, and that’s her problem! It is fun to be with Scene people; you can just relax and have fun, and usually such activities with Scene friends have nothing to do with Scene play at all.

"Mistress Nona is an old friend in the Scene, going back to my first days; she’s a caning expert and I saw her in action at one of my first parties, when I was (as usual) eagerly seeking play opportunities. So I asked Hilton, 'Who’s that?' and he replied, 'Oh, that’s Mistress Nona, she’s quite severe; you’d like her!' I went home that evening with marks that lasted three weeks, but later I learned that Mistress Nona is very able to tailor her 'severity' to what her subs want and need.

"Now, about that butterfly board. I do a lot of creative and construction-type projects; I build most of my own toys, for instance. Mistress Nona is very much into electrical play; so I thought an electrified butterfly board might be a good project. I built one and gave it to her; of course she had to try it out! Another example of sweet seduction in action. We did this scene at a TES party at one of the private dungeons in Manhattan, and I still occasionally hear about it from others who were there. (The photos on her website were shot subsequently, yes it’s me, and no it wasn’t much fun the second time: it was a photo shoot, not a scene.)"

Sadie: So… you'd describe yourself as a masochist then? How would you describe your general philosophy?

John: "I don’t think I’m a masochist. I think that term applies to one who cannot have sexual satisfaction without pain. For me, accepting pain is a mental and physical challenge, and a way of forging a close bond to my partner. A long scene is a Zen-like meditative experience, one in which you forget about your everyday cares, and even escape your body somewhat.

"I deal with intense pain in several steps: first deep breathing; then reciting Yoga mantras and chants; finally by pretending I’m outside my body looking down on the poor victim below. A good scene can be restorative; it cleans and purifies you. But it can take an hour or more of hard work by both of you, minimum, to achieve this level. Unfortunately, few seem to be willing to make that investment; there is a lot of what one of my friends call 'fast food' in the Scene these days."

Sadie: Do you take a spiritual approach to your play? If so, how?

John: "Not consciously; I’d love to be a more spiritual person, but I’m not naturally religious, and spirituality has always been somewhat elusive to me. As I mentioned, a long scene as a sub is the closest to a meditative state I’ve been able to achieve. I’ve tried yoga, which is very relaxing as far as the exercises go; but meditation usually leaves me with a sore back from trying to sit still."

Sadie: Your wife is basically vanilla. What kind of agreement and boundaries have you negotiated so that you can explore BDSM?

John: "People often say I’m very lucky to be with LJ. When I first came to a TES meeting, about six years ago, we came together. She knows everything I do, and has met most of my partners, and is friends with some as well. She was apprehensive at first, but once she came to a few parties and saw that nobody’s getting hurt and that BDSM doesn’t necessarily lead to sex, she relaxed about it all. Our agreement is that I won’t do sexual things with anyone; obviously there won’t be any traditional sex, but what that means when applied to the vast palette of Scene technique has to be worked out.

"Pretty much it means that neither my partner nor I will try deliberately to bring the other to orgasm. But a lot of hugging and massaging (not of sexual areas!) goes on, and that’s OK. If I come home with some nasty marks, or report that I’ve inflicted the same, the reaction is, 'That’s nice dear, glad you had fun.' And LJ is well known in the Scene, from attending meetings and parties and just socializing."

Sadie: When did you first start being aware of your BDSM orientation? What was the progression for you?

John: "Just briefly, I can see S/M tendencies appearing at the age of . . . five maybe? They were submissive at that point, largely medical: I think I had a thing for medical scenes early or maybe a fear of them. By teenage years, I was attending schools were corporal punishment was employed in New York State, just as it is today in many Southern and Western states. I was never seriously subject to this, but I saw a number of other boys 'get it,' and the fear, and curiosity, grew. The kids did a lot of acting out on their own time, spanking and paddling each other. I was clearly a switch by that time, sometimes spanking others black and blue! O those hormones!

"In college there was really no outlet, but I had discovered books by that time and started to amass a collection, mostly of fiction books of text (not pictures) like Story of O and Harriet Marwood, Governess. After two years in the Army, I started a career as an electrical engineer, and got married a year later. I thought I had hinted to my fiancee of my interests, but she said she missed the cues. Anyway, she proved broad-minded enough to accept them and even play a little, although it's not her 'thing.' Meanwhile the collection of books and magazines grew. But I had no connection to the outside world at all.

"We lived in various places around the country and around the world, but mostly in the New York area, and I probably knew about TES within a few years of its founding, which was about 1971. But it was only about six years ago we finally got to a Scene event, a TES meeting. For six months we attended meetings together, on and off, and sat waaay up in the top seats, avoiding everybody, and avoiding the Circle discussion group afterwards. Eventually I did join the Circle and started to talk.

"That October, TES had an unusual meeting: they invited a professional theater group in to put on a show, a kind of Halloween celebration, where the actors were dressed up in fetish gear and invited the audience to interact with them; one skit asked you to take an apple from a witch’s mouth with your own mouth, for example. Very plain stuff, but it was the first time I had ever done anything like that with someone beside my wife.

"A week or so later, I asked at the TES discussion Circle, 'How do you actually start doing this stuff?' And three or four sets of piercing eyes fixed mine, and they all said as one: 'JUST DO IT!' The very next night, we came back to TES, and a wonderful woman, Madame Maya, a pro-Domme who we have since lost to cancer, was seated on a throne, with her spiked heel on some guy’s chest. She said, 'We’re going to have fun tonight. Are there any volunteers?' I stuck my hand up (my wife said: 'No!' but it was already too late), and in the next hour, along with a few others, I was spanked, teased, humiliated, and made to cross-dress. It was just great. One month later, they ran an 'Olympics,' where contestants had to participate in four 'sports': paddling, ball weights, endurance bondage, and clothespins. All fired up, I entered it (there were only three contestants, the other two well- known hardened players); I walked from my car in a crazy costume, kind of a feminine toga I guess, with a wig, and announced, in a strange middle-European accent that I was the entrant from Erewhon, 'a small country which I cannot describe further because of our large neighbor who you know very well; war may break out at any time' and demanded to know, 'vere is zis Olympics ting?' Refusing to pay admission 'Ve athletes don’t pay!' I talked my way past the door and entered the circus. Somehow, I had all my juices flowing, and I won every event! Lolita’s P+P headlined the next week, 'Dark Horse Wins Olympics.' And I was off and running in the Scene.

"In the following year I became a 'demo slut,' volunteering for all kinds of submissive demonstrations (probably the most extreme have been catheters & sounds, and enemas; not too many people will do this stuff, at least in public!); found a friend in Lady Sabrina, a dominant woman for whom I helped organize a demo and participate in it; later on I got into pony play with a lovely partner, Trainer Cleo, who we fear has now sadly passed away after returning to her hippie roots in India; started to do switching; began work on Prometheus, which I have worked on through a slew of administrations; and generally had a good time.

"About three years ago an exciting woman, Ms. Sandra, asked me if I would be her slave; no one had ever asked me such a thing before, and I agreed. I’m still her slave, but actually she’s very busy and hasn’t much time for this, so I think she would agree if I say that I’m her slave 'when we have time for it,' which is not very often these days. At other times, she has no problems with me playing with others; and I stipulated right from the start that I was a switch, and sometimes we do scenes where we both top others. Our relationship is a good example of openness in the Scene: both she and I have spouses who are not in the Scene but don’t object to what we do, and all of us know each other well. A while back an email list was discussing 'what is a slave,' and someone proposed: 'a slave is a submissive who’s been collared.' I was delighted when Ms Sandra posted, 'Well, I have a slave who’s not submissive!' I know she didn’t mean that in any derogatory sense, and I guess that pretty much sums up my complicated personality!" Sadie: Is there anything else you'd like to share with our readers?

John: "Well, just in general, if anybody’s interested in TES, go to www.tes.org; and if you want to reach me or get involved in Prometheus, just write to prometheus@tes.org and, unless there’s been some kind of earthquake, you’ll probably get an answer from me. And although this interview is mostly about the Scene, I think everyone should have a rich array of activities in their life, and when I don’t have a partner for the evening, I am perfectly content to stay at home and work on one of my many technical hobbies, or plan a trip to the Far East or somewhere. And so should you!"

Sadie: Thank you very much!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you enjoyed this interview, read more SCENEprofiles with BDSM personalities on Sadie's website at www.sensuoussadie.com

Sensuous Sadie is a BDSM columnist and edits SCENEsubmissions, a free e-newsletter for the New England area and beyond. She is the founder and leader (1999 - 2001) of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM group. Comments, compliments and complaints, as well as requests for reprinting can be addressed to her at SensuousSadie@aol.com or visit her website at www.sensuoussadie.com. Sadie believes the universe is abundant, and that sharing information freely is part of this abundance, so she allows reprints of her writing in most venues.

Copyright 2002.